“Mom, I don’t want to read the next chapter.”
I looked at my son’s face and saw the tell-tale signs of a blush traveling up from his neck to stain his cheeks. I knew this would be coming. We had explained earlier in the week that this year we would be having “the talk”. My guy is in 6th grade and well, you know…it’s just time. I knew he wasn’t looking forward to it but I didn’t know we would meet with such resistance.
“I really don’t want to go there right now, Mom…” he said, his eyes actually welling up with tears.
(We’re not overly dramatic or anything…)
“I don’t want to learn all of that stuff.” We finally fleshed out what part of the problem was, “If I learn about sex and stuff then things might change. I mean,” he continued, “won’t I have to really grow up then?”
Hmm… Good question.
We talked through some things and I assured him that he and his dad would have man-to-man time and that I didn’t have to be around (apparently the rest of the issue is that he didn’t want a girl, a.k.a mom, to be the one to explain things to him or do it in front of his sister.) I shared with him that growing up wasn’t so bad and although we may learn some things that make us uncomfortable at first, they will benefit us later.
He walked away feeling better but I was left thinking.
How often have I done this very thing to God? He wants to teach me, to help me grow but I stand like a child, stomp my foot a little, cry, and say “I don’t want to learn this right now.”
“Lord, I don’t want to move to a new town. I’m happy here. I have friends.”
“I don’t want to go on another mission trip, God. My heart hurts too much; I can’t forget.”
“This year of school is not as easy. I’m mentally exhausted by the end of the day, Lord. If we put the kids in school, then I could get a job and help with expenses.”
“I can’t read that book anymore. It makes me see the world differently.” So I put the book down and stop, because I’m uncomfortable. And then, because I tend to go to the extreme, I put my bible down too.
I stand before Almighty God, put my hands over my ears, and try to block out what He wants to show me, because it’s hard. It makes me grow. And growing pains can be tough.
Have you been there?
So, today I’m pulling my hands off of my ears and falling on my face, asking that He forgive my disobedience once again.
Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. Psalm 86:11 ESV
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